Tag Archives: long distance

Going the Distance

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Someone once asked me if I had any advice on long distance relationships, to which I half-jokingly replied, “Yeah, don’t do it.” The sad reality is relationships in the same city are hard enough as is, and sometimes people who live in the same house have a hard time communicating with each other.

Nonetheless, we live in a time where meeting someone online can be more sufficient than meeting someone on the train ride home, and technology only makes it easier to have a “friend circle” that circles the globe. Unless you’re still using a pager, having some type of long-distance relationship in life – whether it be for work, friendship, or matters of the heart – is inevitable.

Skout can help start those relationships. It gives you the ability to make a new friend in Spain all from the comfort of your own home in New York. It allows you to see what’s going on in China, while you’re waiting for your laundry to dry in Seattle. Whether across the country, or right around the corner, Skout has the potential to bring people together. But while Skout helps build relationships, it’s up to YOU to keep them.

This is the part where it can get tricky. Long distance relationships can feel like an amazing vacation, or a heart-wrenching deployment. One thing is for sure; it is not for the faint of heart – or text. Fortunately, there are little things you can do that would mean a whole lot to the other person, and ultimately, the relationship.

Try to set up a weekly if not daily time for the two of you to have a Skype chat, or phone call. Being consistent shows the other person that they are a priority in your life despite not physically being there. If you have to break a date, let them know beforehand or as soon as possible afterwards. Keep them in the loop, so that you can keep them in your life. Distance can turn mountains into molehills, so not picking up your phone for 10 minutes can seem like an hour. It all boils down to trust, and communication.

Although everyone is only a Tweet, an email, or refresh button away, nothing beats physical contact. Next to nothing is comparable to hugging your brother that just got back from Afghanistan, or smelling your girlfriends hair for the first time since she moved across the country for college. Nevertheless, it’s still good to know that you can watch your best friend graduate via FaceTime, and that the cure for a boring Friday night can be found at the drop of a Wink Bomb.

How do I stop worrying in a long distance relationship?

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Brianna asks: “My boyfriend and I have been dating for about two months now, but it’s a completely long distance thing. We rarely ever get to see each other (maybe once a month or so), and I’m really worried that we won’t work out. What should I do?”

Brianna,
Your question actually comes at the perfect time. I’m in something of a long distance “relationship” as well, so I’m able to speak from experience. And to be perfectly honest, I am just as worried (if not more so) about what’s going to happen as you are!

And you know what?
That’s totally fine!

Relationships are meant to be a little scary at first — it’s all part of the fun, right? Not knowing what to expect. Not knowing what comes next. Not knowing what he’s thinking, or what she’s thinking, or what’s right around the corner. The nerves and worries are all a part of the dating process, and long distance relationships are no exception.

So what should you do?
Well, the first step is realizing that it is totally human to worry a little bit while in a long distance relationship. It’s a sign that you care, and you should embrace it as a positive thing (especially if you want things to work out). Accept that your feelings are valid and have a little confidence in yourself! Nothing is wrong with you for wanting things to work out. So stop stressing, okay?

Secondly, I’ve found that keeping an open line of communication is the most important part of any relationship — long distance or not. So if you really just need to get those worries off of your chest, let him know! Allowing those feelings just build up inside of you is going to make you explode. And in a long distance relationship, honesty is definitely the best policy. If you need reassurance from him, just ask him for it! This may come as a shock to you, but no, boys actually can’t read our minds. Who knows? Maybe he’s just as worried as you are! So open up to him. It helps build that trust that you both need to keep those worry-warts at bay.

And finally, never be afraid to reach out to the people who care about you (like friends or family), or to indulge in the things that make you happy. In a long distance relationship, you are given a rare opportunity to explore a large amount of “personal space”. Take advantage of that. With all the time that you and your mate spend apart, you could be pursuing things that make you happy as an individual rather than as a couple. Occupy yourself with things that you enjoy. By pampering yourself and keeping your mind busy, you’ll spend more time being satisfied and less time worrying.

To our readers here on TheFlirtBlog.com, do you have any advice for Brianna? And if you have any questions of your own or just need to get something off of your chest, be sure to let us know (anonymous or not)! Sometimes, it helps to get another person’s opinion when it comes to matters of the heart.

So as always? Happy flirting, Skouts.
XOXO Cheri XOXO