To Tell or Not To Tell

Skout Wing Gal - Keeping it real. Today’s question comes courtesy of Brian who chatted me on Skout of course, to ask for some advice.

Dear Skout Wing Gal,

I had been chatting with this one girl for a few months and we finally met in person. She is even more awesome then I could have hoped. We have been dating now for about two months and I really want to introduce her to my friends but I don’t know how I should do it. Should I lie about how we met? I want them to like her.

Signed

Bashful Brian

Dear Brian,

First of all, if you like her and she makes you happy then I am sure your friends will like her too; and if they don’t you might want to think about how good of friends they really are. Second, I think what you are really asking is, should you be embarrassed to have met online? To this I would have to say an unequivocal absolutely not!

Look, in today’s flattened world where we think nothing of communicating with someone next door or around the world there is absolutely no reason you should feel badly about having met someone online. So much of what we do today is done online, or through email and text. Home phones are becoming obsolete, the post is having trouble getting people to send letters (see next weeks column on offline surprises) and almost everyone has at least one email address. Even if you had met this girl in a bar, chances are you would have gotten her phone number and texted her, or her email and emailed her – so really you just skipped the noisy bar part.

Brian you are a trendsetter, embrace how you met and enjoy the offline relationship that is blooming. If anyone has something negative to say about they clearly need to move into the 21st century.

Keeping it real - Skout Wing Gal

Don't Be A Stalker, Seriously

Skout Wing Gal - Keeping it real. Listen up girls and guys, I’ve got a piece of advice for your Friday – don’t be a stalker.

We’ve all been tempted at one point or another to check in on an ex’s Facebook account, or maybe send one too many text messages (or even drunk texts) to someone we like; but I guarantee once you start down this path you will just come across as needy and a little cray-cray.

Technology has made it not only amazingly easy to find out what people are up to, it has also created a disconnect in rational contact. What do I mean by that? Texting and emailing give you a buffer that face-to-face contact, and even talking on the phone does not have.  Look, Skout Wing Gal totally gets it – you start chatting with a guy or girl, you seem to hit it off, maybe you hang out and suddenly you’re sprung. Now all you want to do is chat with them, which is fine, its part of dating (the fun part) what is not fine is obsessing about them to the point of stalker tendencies.

I’m going to date myself a little but, it used to be if you wanted to chat with someone or see what they were doing you had to actually pick up a phone and have a real conversation, actually commit to communicating with them. Now, you can pick up your cell – type a quick text and off it goes to cyberspace with minimal commitment on your part. Because of this disconnect you might find yourself texting again and again and before you know it you’ve got your phone in your hand, finger poised to tap send on the 50th message in under 15 minutes.

Listen closely: STEP AWAY FROM THE PHONE!

Getting to know someone is about discovery, give him or her time to respond, to miss you, to wonder what you are doing (more on over sharing next week). Texting over and over while checking their profile (and yes, they can see if you have) only leads to them feeling suffocated and possibly even a little nervous, and no one likes that.

Take it from Skout Wing Gal, don’t be a stalker – text responsibly.