Egotistical or Confident?

Skout Wing Gal - Keeping it real. Today’s question comes from the city where so many people have left their hearts, San Francisco. Eddie chatted me up on Skout and said he was worried he might be dating a girl who was too into herself.  My advice to Eddie, well you can read for yourself.

Dear Eddie,

It’s great for girls, and guys, to be sure of themselves and exude confidence but there is a line that, when crossed, tips confidence into egotistical. Here are a couple questions to ask yourself to see if you are dating a confident guy or gal, or someone who clearly loves themselves.

They only want to do what they want.

Does this sound familiar? You love to hike but your “partner” wants to go for a run so every weekend you go for a run, because that is what they want to do. Relationships are about compromise, unless you are having a relationship with yourself.

Every argument ends up being your fault.

Sure, some of them probably are your fault, but stop for a minute and count up the amount that you end up taking the blame for. If the other person can’t take responsibility for their own actions, well that’s not confidence that’s lack there of.

They are unreliable.

They show up late, or not at all. They change plans without giving a thought to how it affects you or anyone else. They are only thinking of themselves

The sense of entitlement is out of control.

This seems to be a rampant problem these days, possibly brought on by watching too many hours of reality television. People need to realize they are NOT rock stars, or celebutants or marginally famous – so really if your date is acting like the world should roll over and take care of her/his every whim just because, there’s a problem.

They exaggerate their accomplishments.

We all like to talk ourselves up, especially to people we fancy – but if every accomplishment or deed is the most amazing, the best, no one could have done it better moment then there is an issue. If the person’s main concern is making sure they look the best that they can, again, you should give the relationship a long hard look.

Keeping it real – Skout Wing Gal

Chivalry is not Dead

Skout Wing Gal - Keeping it real. Chivalry is not dead – or at least it shouldn’t be. Look, girls still like the little things. We may be independent and completely capable of taking care of ourselves but we appreciate a door being held open, flowers just because it’s Tuesday, or a sweet message to start the day off right.

There’s a misconception out there that being romantic will make you seem needy but Skout Wing Gal is here to tell you that is not the case. In today’s world of quick sound bites of information, emoticons and anagrams, the guys who actually take the time to practice sweet and thoughtful gestures will stand out from the crowd, in a good way. We are all still looking for our own knight in shining armor, thank you Disney, so guys use it. You have gotten so cavalier focusing on the casual of everything that good old fashioned chivalry is lacking.

So what do you say guys – next time you see a pretty girl don’t cut in front of her and let the door close, take that extra minute out of your day and hold the door open. I make you a bet the smile you get in return, or even a phone number, will make it all worthwhile.

I mean really, it takes so little effort but goes so far so why don't you step up to the plate.

Keeping it real - Skout Wing Gal

Chatting Tips

This week’s question comes from a user in the UK, Edward who writes:

Dear Skout Wing Gal,

I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I have met some great girls on Skout and I’ve started to a chat with them, either by saying hi or with a wink bomb, they respond initially and then they just stop. I continue to try and engage them but I get no response. I don’t think I’ve offended them but I just don’t know why no one wants to chat with me. Am I that boring? Please help!

Edward, unliked in the UK

Dear Edward,

Don’t fret, as long as we can assume you aren’t doing anything offensive, and you have a normal picture taken outside your bathroom (see my post on photos here) it might just be your approach. It’s awkward when you meet someone for the first time, even online, so here’s a few tips to help get you over the initial break point and onto the nitty gritty of getting to know each other.

First, let’s chat, no pun intended, a moment about what you say after your initial contact…what do you say? “Hay babe watcha doin?” Or maybe, “Yo honey u sur r fine?”

Because if you say something even close to those I promise you that approach won’t work. First of all, even though it’s chat let’s try not to completely butcher the written word. Spelling still goes a long way in a lot of girls books so rack up some easy points by actually writing something coherent.

Second, don’t say something generic, trust me it’s boring. Take the time to look at her profile or picture at least, and comment on something that is relevant to her. Does her picture have a dog in it? Is she wearing a jersey from a sports team? Why don’t you ask her about that....”Hey, nice jersey, are you a SF Giants fan or just a Buster fan?”

Girls really do like to feel special, so play into that instead of just going the generic route. Who knows, maybe you’ll discover you have loads in common and it’ll be a little slice of heaven from then on.

Skout Wing Gal - Keeping it real.

As always, chat me your questions and quandaries or leave a comment below and I’ll help you out.