It’s ask Skout Wing Gal time. Today’s question comes from Mark. He chatted me up on Skout and as we were talking he expressed some stress about girls. He said he sometimes feels awkward giving compliments, or getting the conversation going because he thinks he sounds forced or fake.
So, here’s my advice Mark, and actually this goes for girls who have the same issue as well. First off, keep in mind that most everyone is nervous when they first meet someone new. It’s a rare breed of person who is totally confident in new situations. That being said, I find that commenting on the little things is a great icebreaker, it shows you are paying attention, and doesn’t seem fake or forced. If she has on a pin or earrings, comment on them, if he has an interesting watch or maybe cool sneaks compliment his sense of style. If you are chatting online maybe mention the angle of their profile picture, or the setting of one of their backstage photos. Find something that isn’t super obvious and compliment them on that.
As for getting the conversation started, especially in chat bring up the person’s location. If they live in San Francisco ask them how Fogust is going. Or if they are in London you could mention that you’ve always wanted to see the London Bridge. By mentioning their home turf in such a way you’ll automatically get the conversation started. Try to steer away from just stating the obvious like New York must be fun, or Paris sure seems romantic – put a little thought into what you are saying or chatting. Just that little bit of effort will go along way.
I know I keep bringing up the idea of effort, but as those of you who know me, know it is my main consternation these days. This seemingly lack of effort on both men, and women’s parts. I don’t understand when it started happening and why it is so acceptable.
So be the exception, not the norm. Put in a little effort and see how it pays off.
Keeping it real –Skout Wing Gal